BEFORE

I am in a haze
in a fog
with a gaze.
My vision is all black and blurry,
Oh, someone please help me!
Someone please hurry!
Why won't this go away
like everyone else says
I can't let this last yet another day!
I NEED my life back
I am sick of this
need to attack.
I just want to shout
to everyone and yell out
THIS IS NOT ME
I AM NOT MYSELF!!
HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE?
Why can't I get a break?
This is not a piece of cake,
I am angry and depressed,
I just can't get a rest.
I want this to be DONE
I can't wait until this is over
I am sick of everyone else needing to cover,
for me...
I am going crazy,
truly I am not this lazy.
I dont know MYSELF anymore
I just want to shut the door
and go back to before.
I am way beyond done
I am THROUGH!!
I am so sick of fighting ME, MYSELF, and I (which is YOU!!!)
Silly girl...
Lauren you need to stop
before you combust,
and 'POP!'
I can't move on
with this still going on.
My faith and my hope is slowly slipping
no one understands
there are no helping hands...
Can't stop the fog
so very thick
I can't get out!
There is NOTHING I want MORE than to
go back to BEFORE.
when I was my happy self..
The real me!
When nothing was in my way,
if only...
I could go back to that day,
I wish
I could go back to...

...BEFORE...

Beautiful Lies

As I look back at the past
all of their wonderful faces
we went all different places
but it was too good to last.
I remember your gorgeous eyes
and all of the great moments
now that only torment me
because..
of all the beautiful lies
that I tell me myself and I.
I tell myself to hold on
cause it's the right thing to do
and they will miss you to.
but someday you wont miss them
and it will be okay in the end.
I want to go back in time
and press rewind
to when you were here
to pull me near
to when I believed in those lies
and go back in time
because now all i have left is the
BEAUTIFUL LIES.

Disappear

Sometimes I wish I could disappear
because I don't want to be here
I want to be a part of the air
the wind that rustles your hair
living life without a care.
Maybe then it would be better,
maybe it would be worse,
at least then I wouldn't be stuck
in this parallel universe.
People take advantage of me it seems
maybe they would listen closer
if they thought I wasn't here...
sometimes I wish I could disappear.

Get It Right

OMG!
You're the guy so get it right,
you talk to me first
or I won't talk to you.
I am sick of putting in the effort,
especially when you don't
even after all we have been through.
You have the nerve to say it is because I broke up with you
but that is no excuse
cuz you did this before that too!
Is it really too much to ask
for you to be happy around me..
for you to act excited to see me...
or for you to pay attention to me??
I shouldn't have to beg,
or plead,
especially if you love me
or so you say.
Why can't you see
all that you have done
and left behind?
Now that I am gone?
I actually thought
you treating me so bad
was okay,..
this is so sad.
How is it okay
to not text all day?
Your only attempt is to say goodnight?
That is not right.
I should not have to wait.
so I am not!
Omg! You are the guy....
So get it RIGHT.

I Am A Miracle

I am a living miracle baby. I was born only 1 pound, 6 ounces. My mom was only 24 weeks pregnant with me. Everyone in my family was so worried and scared because this was new to all of them. My parents stayed in the hospital with me for 82 days straight. I was born way too early. My due date was July 4th, and I was born March 28th. My mom and dad struggled to hold on to me and to do all that they could. They watched me struggle with needles, tubes and tape all over me as the doctors worked hard to keep me alive. None of my organs were fully developed and my skin was transparent. The doctors said to expect the worst because no one expected me to survive the trauma. I was only the length of your hand and my lungs had holes in them so I was not able to breathe on my own. My head was only the length of your index finger. No one had ever seen such a small baby back when I was born. Once my organs developed I was able to go home, but was on oxygen tanks until the age of four. Today, I am perfectly fine...100 percent. This is very rare because I shouldn't be living. Many premature babies grow up with bad eyesight, can’t walk, can’t breathe on their own, or have long-term life problems. Unfortunately, in most cases they never get the chance because they die. My mom told me that she prayed, cried, and hoped for me to get better and I did. Only 6% of the premature babies born today are born before 28 weeks. I am one of the 6%. I learned from my mom that I am a miracle baby.

Let Your Inner Beauty Flower

Everyone deserves a smile
every once in a while.
Whether you are good or bad,
life isn't fun when anyone is sad.
Live life to its fullest,
hold your head up high,
show everyone that you have what it takes to fly.
If the world looks down on you,
let them know there is no reason to.
Please tell me you will do everything in your power
to shine and let your inner beauty flower.
I hope you know I am always here for you
even when you aren't here for me,
I am the bigger person and I will always be.
Whenever you are down
just think how happy I am when you are around.
Don't do this only for yourself...
do it for ME!
I have faith in you
and you should have faith in yourself too.
Please tell me you will do everything in your power
to shine and let your inner beauty flower.

Angel's View

It's ashame how fast time flies,
It's ashame that people die
without getting a second try.
Not everyone is bad,
most people are good
so why don't those people get treated the way they should?
Premature babies die without warning
and never get the chance to live
now there are wives and husbands mourning.
I wish I could fix this and make the world a better place,
because most people are good
but now I have come to face,
not everyone dies without a second try...
some just aren't as lucky as me
you see...
because I got mine,
now I need to sit back and watch you all shine.